The Fat Fakir revealed....
Updated with a top photo from about 30 years ago.
Fifty of your Earth years
Scorpio - the sexiest sign of the zodiac, of course
Technical Author, currently seeking new opportunities
In no particular order:
- Decent beer - always one to make snap judgements about drinking establishments based solely on the quality of the beverages available, I instantly mark down any that I can't get a decent drink in. Lager, bitter, or whatever, I'm not that fussy, to be honest, but if you're stocking the bog-standard Carling, Fosters, John Smiths ranges don't expect repeat business from me.
- Playing my guitar and ukulele - I haven't got a decent singing voice and I can't really write songs, but that never stopped anyone on Pop Idol or X-Factor. Indeed, it didn't exactly harm Bob Dylan's career either...
- Crewe Alexandra Football Club - my little smashers, the greatest team in Cheshire. Well, currently at least, the highest-placed league team in South Cheshire.
- Carry On films - the cinematic equivalent of the old seaside postcards and a wonderful illustration of the British attitudes towards sex. And indeed my own.
- Music - usually live, loud and guitar-driven, but not always. Came to musical maturity in the late '70s/early 80s, where there was a wide range of musical styles available - punk, new wave, the mod revival, reggae, the new romantics and electronica, I devoured it all.
Hhhm, let's see - beer, football, music. Yep, that's me!
Again five, in no particular order:
- Tomatoes - Satan's apples: the succulent promise of the firm outer flesh, which is thoroughly betrayed by the disgusting mush of pips and stuff inside.
- The way R'n'B now stands for piss-poor half-assed dance music, whereas in my day it used to stand for pub-rockers like Dr Feelgood and Nine Below Zero... (I guess I'm just getting old. "Eeh, what's this? Call that proper music? Can't even hear the words! It was all fields round here in my day, etc, etc.").
- Mushrooms - fungus trying to disguise itself as food.
- Crap beer - always one to make snap judgements about drinking establishments based solely on the quality of the beverages available, I instantly mark down any that I can't get a decent drink in. Lager, bitter, or whatever, I'm not that fussy, to be honest, but if you're stocking the bog-standard Carling, Fosters, John Smiths ranges don't expect repeat business from me.
- Melisma - thankfully on the wane now, but the practice of stretching one syllable over several notes is one of the things I've liked least in pop music. Whitney Houston was probably the biggest offender although I first heard Aaron Neville doing it a couple of years earlier. It got to the point where every singer or would-be popstar would blight the TV talent shows by trying to cram as many notes into each word as possible.
Surprisingly, it was easier to think of five things I like...
Other points of interest
I think that's enough to be going on with.